Today was a powerful day and I’d like to write a short reflection on its activities.
Yair and I woke early, ran a couple of errands around Riverdale and arrived hand-in-hand at our home synagogue in time for the scheduled 11:15am get (religious divorce procedure).
Both sets of parents accompanied us to the meeting and we set a good tone from the start by seating the families together. (The rabbi originally instructed our respective families to sit on opposite sides of the table, but soon realized that would be unnecessary.)
We were introduced to a panel of witnesses and a sofer (scribe) who was instrumental to carrying out the legalistic religious obligations of the separation. The Brooklyn (read: very religious) crew unintentionally provided some comic relief for Yair who was playful as ever on this occasion.
One example: Yair is technically required to own the ink, quill and materials needed for the religious ceremony. Accordingly, the scribe unconditionally gifted these materials to Yair. This action is generally performed with the understanding that Yair will choose to return these items following the ceremony, however Yair hemmed and hawed when the scribe asked if Yair would kindly consider “gifting” them back to him, making this poor sofer sweat for a moment.
Yair and I read aloud deep and personal statements that we had written for one other, and my beloved husband busted out his first set of tears in over five years since the day of our wedding. After a bit of thought and conversation with Yair, we have decided to share the pieces that we wrote here on the blog as they reflect our deep love for one another and provide insight into the development of our relationship.
A good friend and spiritual leader of the congregation shared beautiful words about times of transition, and soon after the get was delivered and the proceedings were complete.
Our families (who get along very well) joined each other for lunch while Yair and I spent a couple of hours relaxing, eating good food and cuddling Muffin, his incredible family dog. We wished each other farewell for the next two weeks, as Yair will be returning to Austin this Wednesday in preparation for Burning Man, whereas I will be staying on the East Coast for another week to be with family. We will be speaking often.
We have been blessed to receive a lot of love and support. Our friend Shira arranged for dinner and an empty NYC apartment this past weekend so that we would have a quiet place to enjoy our last weekend as a married couple. And my little sister Jessie decked out my childhood bedroom with white paper chains and fresh flowers.
To come: Insights into the decision, reflections on the process and our path of love and healing (perhaps this will be helpful to others?) and – as always – goofy reports on our latest light-hearted adventures.
We send our love to each of you, and thank you for continuing to be with us on this journey.
posted by ayo