Our posts from earlier this week were met with an outpouring of love, support and a tad of criticism as well. After some reflecting, we have decided not to delve into the genesis of our separation for three reasons:
1) Privacy and Focus – I think it important to maintain a certain element of privacy, but moreover to keep the focus of relationship-related blog posts on lessons learned and how Yair and I created the positive dynamic that we have now.
2) Response Control – Because this topic is so fresh and hits close to home and because this is a public blog, I think it unwise to actively invite commentary about the “why” of the split from individuals who might knowingly or unknowingly say hurtful things.
3) Unity Over Division – I feel most strongly about this reason. Unity and compassion are guiding forces in my life. Yair and I realize that – by providing insight into the decision (who initiated? how was it decided? was it mutual? etc.) – we might unwittingly create “Team Yair” and “Team Ayo”, needlessly dividing people and losing friends in the process.
For those of you disappointed about the lack of “juice” in this post, here are three of my favorite concocted “why we split” stories:
1) The Hillbilly Answer: Yair and I were gearing up to start a family, and decided to do some genetic testing first to be aware of our risk factors. Little did we know the tests would show that we were… half-siblings! Awkward.
2) The Oldtimer Answer: Yair and I were hanging out with a family member last week and explaining the reasons behind the split. After thinking for a while and trying to come up with a conceivable answer, the relative asked: “Yair, you’re not gay, are you?” [Answer: He's not.]
3) The Days of Our Lives Answer: After finding some anime on Yair’s computer, Ayo discovered that Yair has had a secret family for years. Ayo just couldn’t cope with his four Japanese wives and sixteen children. Alas.
Which answer is the best? Alternate (goofy) answers welcomed!
PS – Keep an eye out for the next couple of posts, which will keep things light and fun amidst the relationship insights.
posted by ayo