I’ve always been a free spirit and have done my own thing whether or not the people around me were interested in joining. Volunteer for the afternoon and then go to a dance class solo? Alright. Spend a summer doing film in Toronto far away from anyone I know? Sure.
That’s not to say that I didn’t have friends, but I was rarely interested in compromising my independence for group dynamics and so for most of my life I had different groups of friends that reflected my different interests. This provided me with flexibility and allowed me to connect with the part of individuals that I most appreciated. However, this also meant that – with the exception of a chevreh (social circle) in high school – I was not exclusively or definitively part of any one group.
Last night, I spent a half hour on Facebook and saw:
- Two married couples from my high school grade, sitting and smiling while their children played together
- Two friend-acquaintances from my Indian dance team in college, beaming as one asked the other to be her bridesmaid
- Four social action-oriented college friends whom I respect and spent a lot of time with, posting on each other’s walls and staying close despite the 4-5 years that have passed since graduation
Now that I am reflecting on this subject, I don’t think that I am actually a loner, but my penchant for independence, varied interests and now travel keep me from being able to immerse myself in any one group.
It would be nice to find a rockin’ good-doing, adventure-spirited, crazy fun group of friends one day wherever we end up, but meanwhile I’ll view this as a call to action to better keep in touch with those gems of individual friends that I have made along the way.
posted by ayo