The Transformation of Yair

17 05 2012

Note: This post was written with the permission of Yair.

It’s hard to put into words just how much Yair has grown and developed over the past two years.

When Yair and I started dating seven years ago, he wouldn’t walk outside in a t-shirt lest someone from local politics see him.  He was very involved in community affairs as a model citizen and served as the youngest member of the local NYC community board, so he wanted to give off the “right impression” by wearing collared button-down shirts.

When Yair and I got married five years ago, he couldn’t appreciate the way that music made me want to move and dance.  He would be goofy with me, but not feel comfortable expressing this silly side of himself with friends or family.

Many of Yair’s social interactions were strictly cerebral and community was not something that he independently valued as important.  Reflecting tended to happen on an analytical level and self-awareness wasn’t a big part of his vocabulary.

Yair

Yair

Over the past two years – and particularly over the past three months – Yair has come into his own.  His cerebral, analytical and skeptical selves are still as present as ever, but they have been complemented by an open mind, a loving heart, a silly side, a reflective nature and a spirit of generosity.

Yair is volunteering, journaling, costuming, expressing himself creatively and just blossoming.

People say that – in order to have a healthy relationship – you should accept the person as they are and not try to change them.  With the exception of trying to have Yair keep things neat around the RV (God help me), I’ve tried to follow that advice and be accepting and loving rather than demanding changes.

But when your love trends toward what you see as the “ideal” version of themselves of their own doing and volition?  Cool stuff.  Really cool stuff.

posted by ayo

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10 responses

17 05 2012
Sam Morrow

Ayo, you got yourself a keeper!!!

Miss you both. Call me sometime.

21 05 2012
ayo

Thanks, Sam. I agree. I do have myself a keeper.

Great catching up with you. 🙂

17 05 2012
libertatemamo

Awesome! Looks like he’s coming into his own!
Nina

21 05 2012
ayo

Very awesome. Do you guys have a firm direction (geographically) for the summer or fall?

It would be great to spend more time together.

21 05 2012
libertatemamo

Yeah, we’re back to OR for the next coupla months…going to Eugene and then exploring the Southern Coast. It’s kinda open after that. Where are you headed?
Nina

22 05 2012
ayo

Total question mark, though we’re in Austin for the next month. Will keep you posted!

17 05 2012
Bernie Horowitz

There’s a huge ring of truth to this post, especially about the person Yair used to be.

21 05 2012
ayo

Wow, your comment means a lot. We miss you.

18 05 2012
tamar d

Well, that explains the purple skirt 🙂

21 05 2012
ayo

Yup!!! 😀

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