How to Dance Like a Black Woman

3 08 2012

This post is not so politically correct, and I’ll probably get flak for it.  A slight apology in advance, but I’m mostly okay with it.  Here goes…

I have always been envious of the way that black women are able to sing and especially how many of them are able to dance.  No matter how many times I belt out “Encourage Yourself”*, I’m not sure that it’s ever going to sound quite right.

One of the contestants in the July 4th “Lubbock’s Got Talent” show was a black woman who put everyone to shame busting out moves to VIC’s “Wobble”.  I wanted to show her how Jewish women break it down… or at least how I do.  (I have this weird thing about showing people that Jews can dance. :-D)  But I was too shy.

I decided that I was going to figure out how to dance like a black woman.  After some reflection and experimental grooving, here are the four basic rules that I came up with:

1)  Be casual.  Be smooth.  This is just another song where you’re working your stuff.  Don’t even break a sweat.

2)  Stay grounded.  Whether it’s rocking your head and upper body or gyrating your hips, rhythmic movement and heavy motions are okay.  Even pulsating bounces can work, but it needs to stay grounded and be earthy.

3)  The look.  This one is more subtle, but there is definitely an unimpressed look you have to put on your face that says: “I know I look good and you know you can’t touch this.”  So keep it cool and keep it smug.

4)  Work what you have.  Don’t be ashamed to flaunt what you got, wherever you got it.  Be confident and be bold.

I tested out my theory by breaking it down outside a Walmart last week (where all classy people hang out!) and it totally worked.  There were double takes, drive-bys (not the shooting kind) and eventually a crowd.

I am currently too sheepish to actually include a video of me in this post**, but here’s an open invitation to any of y’all to go out dancing some time and I’ll show you what I’m talking about.  And I might just have to join a gospel choir one day to nail the other half of the equation.

*Props to the HIR for introducing me to this music and building an MLK partnership with the Green Acres Baptist Choir.

**Yair took a video of me rocking out and comparing Latin dancing, Indian dancing, stereotypical white dancing and black dancing, but it is bad news.  Like never-seeing-the-light-of-day-but-could-be-a-YouTube-hit-in-its-notoriety kind of bad news.  🙂

posted by ayo




2 responses

5 08 2012

Ayo can seriously break it down. You (all of you) should take her up her offer to go out dancing.

5 08 2012

Ha. Hi, Yair.

If folks are too scared to touch this post with a comment, I’m not sure how many dancing takers I’ll be getting. We’ll see! 🙂

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